appearance

it's interesting how boys appearance changes drastically as they age where as girls look pretty much the same from about the age of 8 or 9 i mean with a few changes but if you compare pictures of a girl at age 9 to a girl at age 17 you can still tell its the same girl and her face still looks pretty much the same. well i guess they look older but with boys..sometimes you cant even see that its the same person. they look so much younger! like a boy at age 12 looks so different than his counterpart at 16! especially when they get into like their 20s its just so different. i guess it has to do with like girls maturing earlier mentally and physically but still it trips you up a little when you come back to school and see your classmates and think wow they did not look like that in middle school.

ps this is not meant to be creepy or anything...it was just a thought.

skillz

Its interesting how there are things that all kids want to do when they are little like soccer, ballet, gymnastics, some sort of martial art, some sort of musical instrument...you know what im talking about. you know those little kids who think "it would be so cool to that!! " but then they get bored of it and quit with only a year or a few months of whatever they chose or a combination of them under their belt. but then there are these few kids who stick with it. those who continue years later into it eventually becoming world cup soccer players, olympic gymnasts, concert pianists... its almost like survival of the fittest. weeding out those who cant handle it, or those who just get bored of it or those who just dont have the talent. But i have to give credit to those who stick with it. because i am one of those people, but of course not to the same extent. i play the piano. i have for the past 11 years. 12 come february. and i know its hard to stick with something that long to that level. but im not nearly as dedicated as some of the people that started with me. i mean its kinda hard to when you go to a very demanding school. its almost like going to two different schools with a LOT of homework from both of them. which is why i guess its a smart idea that people who are at that level that way your teachers understand what you are dealing with. but anyways, they have incredible dedication and i cant even compare to them nor do i put myself at the same level as them. so if anyone reading this is one of those people i admire your dedication and your skill. i know how hard you have worked for that. congrats. and every time you tell someone about your skill and they say wow i wish i would have stuck with it, just think about how you did.

women & girls

i dont really have a full discussion formed for this...it was more of just a thought that randomly came to my head...so dont expect anything really well written, not that i ever produce that. my thoguht was:

woman or a girl. when does it change? when do you start calling yourself a woman versus a girl?

of course theres the scientific explination that is like a girl becomes a woman when she gets her period but most girls now a days are getting them when they are like 10 and i dont think that mentally those girls are women yet. and then theres the age of 18 where society accepts you as an adult which also i guess defines you as a woman versus a girl. or maybe when you graduate from college and enter the "real world" maybe thats when you can really start saying to yourself I am a woman now

maybe its when other people start seeing you as a woman...

but i guess it all has to do with your mentality. how you think of yourself. maybe you are really mature and you consider yourself a woman at 13 or maybe you never consider yourself a woman, after all inside everyone is a child for all their life. even when your 80 you still have a 6 year old, tucked inside, hidden away from the world. so i guess inside every woman is a girl.

halloween

i know its a little bit late but whatever im sure you had better things to do on halloween than to read my blog so here it is now. halloween is my favorite holiday, at least it was. im slightly starting to dislike it now. then again i am in that awkward stage for halloween. Theres the stage when your little and your like FREE CANDY/CANDY!!!!! and you get all excited about dressing up (which i will touch on later) and then you spend all night knocking on peoples doors asking for candy. its the one night of the year where its acceptable to take candy from strangers. Then you get older and people start to give you weird looks when your trick or treating unless you are with a small child and they ask you "arent you a little old" or other invasive questions essentially making you feel bad or uncomfortable for wanting free candy. candy never loses its appeal! and its still fun to dress up but also the costumes start becoming less and less scary and creative and more and more whatever i can find in my closet that can pass as a costume OR the slutty version of anything i can think of. Although there are the true halloween fans who are die hard scary masks fake blood, the works. kudos to you. That period lasts for a while pretty much until you hit the age where people are grossed out at the idea of you wearing scandalous clothing or until you have children and you have to act decent and like a good role model. but there is that awkward stage in between trick or treating and kick ass halloween parties and later taking your own kids trick or treating where your like well what do i do now? I think thats where I am now. i guess i could go to parties but its not so much that its halloween than its an excuse to have a party. I like halloween though. its the one time of the year where its acceptable to be something that your not, even encouraged. it gives you a chance to step out of your shell and try something else. or even just to be goofy for one night. its also a chance to show off your creativity at making costumes. but i think people are starting to lose the spirit of it. kind of like christmas. you know how people have started just celebrating the fact that you get presents instead of celebrating the birth of baby jesus. i have fallen to that, but im not religious so i dont feel that bad. but halloween has become more about free candy and dressing up like a slut than celebrating the true halloween spirit. which although i havent done extensive research on and this is definitely not hard historical facts but halloween basically consisted of the idea that on october 31st, the boundaries between the spiritual plane and the earthly realm or the living and the dead blurred and the dead could come back to earth. so to prevent this people would dress up to try and scare the spirits away and the pumpkins were carved to try and keep them out of their homes...theres a lot of different cultural things. but its all lost its meaning now.

losing meaning

It’s ironic how the two words that have lost the most significance are the two strongest emotions that a person is capable of feeling. Love and hate. People loosely throw them around as often as they throw around any other emotion it seems as though there is no in between, its either on one extreme or the other. You hear people saying “oh my God I love that!” or expressing their love to people they have only met once in their life. And on the other hand you hear people saying how much they hate someone they have never even met or how much they hate that particular flavor of ice cream. words that once used to mean so much now mean barely anything to people. I'm not sure if its because people use them so frequently that they have lost their meaning or if it is because they lost their meaning that people use them so frequently (although the first explanation makes more sense) but the point is that its sad. you dont have a word to express emotions anymore unless you are one of the few people who dont overuse it. but even then you cant be sure that your "significant other" or whoever your talking to will understand the significance that you peg behind this word, be it hate or love. I guess it doesnt help either that these are two pretty undefinable words and even though the dictionary tries to define them, everyone has their own definition that sill holds valid because frankly you cant define emotions. they are something to be felt, not told. but even if you did want to tell you dont have the words anymore. thanks modern society for finding yet another way to fuck up people's relationships.

freckles

Have you ever noticed that lately children don’t have freckles anymore??

Think about it, when was the last time that you saw a child under the age of say 10 years with freckles? It’s not only the redheads that are dying out but so are freckled children, but that doesn’t have so much to do with genetics. That has more to do with modernization.

So I have composed some theories on the reasons for the loss of freckles:

Theory 1: Children spend way too much time inside. This kind of ties into child obesity also but that’s a different topic. Children don’t play outside as much as they used to before all the fancy video games and everything came along. They think ‘why go outside and run around in a field when I can play video games or WEBKINZ,’ which is apparently the newest big thing among children although technically it’s just a rip off of neopets. It’s not only the children though, im not criticizing parenting styles but sometimes it’s hard to balance your life with children and the TV gives you that much needed short break to get some of that work done or even just to kick back and relax. So you plop your kids down in front of the electronic nanny. It’s ok every now and then but you know you have a problem when your kids prefer that over anything else. But I guess its not only the electronics’ fault though, although that does have a lot to do with it considering that to a child today, their favorite TV show seems much more appealing than running around in a field. But even that is hard to come across. There’s a lack of outside places for kids to play. Parks and playgrounds have been transformed and instead we have parking lots and skyscrapers or office buildings. Even though that might be helpful when your looking for a spot to park your car or a nice building to work in…but children are not welcome in either of those places, after all would you want your kid running around in a parking lot? I guess grey is the new green.

Theory 2: overprotective parents. Which further divides into 2 subtopics. First, no child goes outside in the summer, and even in the winter now, without sunscreen. And of course it has to be over at least SPF 30 , and that’s on the low end, and especially on their faces. Everyone is so worried about skin cancer and cancer in general which granted is not something that you should take lightly because it is a serious thing, but a lighter sunscreen or maybe even a little time in the sun without sunscreen would not kill you. Lets not get too crazy though because enough just might if you have bad luck.

Second, parents don’t let their children get hurt anymore. God forbid they need to take out a band-aid or that their child shed a drop of blood. Now I know I’m not a parent but you cant baby them that much after they are literally babies. Having reached maybe 4 years old you have to let them get hurt and you have to let them experiment. They can handle it and they have to learn somehow. Besides, your skin heals! Your body is prepared to fix the little things, maybe it will hurt for a few days or even a few minutes but its not that big of a deal. It will happen eventually so you might as well be there when it happens to take care of it. Besides, at that age scars are cool. I’m not saying let your kid do crazy things and end you both up in the ER but let them climb a tree if they want to! Hell, let them fall out of the tree. You know the lesson will get across that way. Yes there may be hospital bills, but again, casts are even cooler than scars to kids, and don’t you want your kid to be happy?

in vino veritas (misspelled??)

I realized that I have severely fallen behind in my blog posting. If you go back to the very first post, I promise to try and post at least every day…that did not happen. Sorry to my very very few readers. Thanks for sticking around (if you still are)

So right now im sitting in history class writing this on a word document in case my teacher comes around, this way it looks like im taking notes…which of course im not. But good news is im recording this class so if I want to (which I don’t) I can go back and listen to it whenever I want. Clever huh?

Anyways moving on from that because obviously if your reading this you have better things to do than listen to me talk about my history class. also, sorry for the bad quality of writing, i seem to have temporarily lost my mojo/topics to discuss/junior year is working me hard so heres what i came up with with the little bit of my brain that has not been fried to insanity.

So today’s topic is: speak the truth

It’s interesting how people only speak the whole truth when they are… lets say not quite themselves to put It nicely. If your not picking up on it, people only speak the whole truth completely uninhibited for a few reasons:

1. they are completely drunk
2. they are really high on something
3. they are talking in their sleep
4. a situation has reached the point where something really just has to be done

reason 1 and 2 kinda go together though seeing as both mess with your ability to make decisions that you may consider right or perhaps even morally sound while you are sober. but then again all of them are kinda similar except number 4, thats the one where you really have to be in your right mind OR you could be driven to the point of insanity by something...so all of them involve some sort of mental setback.

anyways, a lot of people say that the truth hurts, and although thats true (granted not all truths are bad) dont you think that if someone has been lying to your face would hurt you even more if/when you found out?

example, a group of people who you think are your friends have actually been just pretending to like you and actually trash talk you behind your back.

the lie: that you are their friend

the truth: that you are not their friend and they hate you/are annoyed by you

in this situation the lie is hurting you more because you are under the impression that you have a nice group of friends but thats not the reality. if they just told you the truth you could stop living a lie and get a new group of friends who actually like you! you would be much happier come 20 years when you go to invite all your friends to your wedding and the few people who do come are only there because theres an open bar. even a simpler example of like you have B.O and nobody tells you, the lie of omission is hurting you more than a simple "you smell bad" would cost you. i think the main point is that your not sparing people by lying to them, your hurting them more. Besides, whats the worst thing you could say to them??

Also check this out. Its my godmother/cousin’s blog http://rubsomeoatmealonit.blogspot.com/ its some pretty kick ass blog material, clearly the blog writing genetics were not passed onto me. Oh well, I do what I can.

today

im not really sure what i want to write about today but i just want to write something anyways....hmmmm oh. comedians

they are some of the few people who keep things in perspective. at least sometimes. its kind of like they are the only people who can tell the truth without getting in trouble or anything. just the truth with a little flare a few cuss words and its a comedy act. but maybe thats why people love it. because you know that most of its true, you just never thought of it yourself or you never phrased it that way. its just interesting...that comedians are just talking about normal stuff normal everyday topics but they get paid for it! and they are some of the few people who can also get away with ridiculous amounts of obscenities and really really inappropriate things on TV or on their shows. people who can make racist, sexist remarks without getting in trouble even make fun of huge public figures like the president without anything happening, and its broadcasted on TV and everything! granted its hilarious but its interesting how they are just normal people and they somehow have some sort of special privileges and are exempt from almost everything. even when they do drugs or become alcoholics or something people dont go after them like they go after celebrities. its like it doesnt matter. although there are some comedians who are a huge part of the public eye but still. even the roasts!! comedians all get together and make fun of each other for like an hour on television! thats gotta be a fun career. i guess its hard to make it to the top though but once you do make it...well i dont really know. i think that most comedians who make it to the top never go down, they remain in history as a comedic legend and even when they retire its like they are even bigger than celebrities. celebrities sink into oblivion sometimes...they end up getting smaller and smaller roles, comedians have their own show, everything centered around them. the only way that celebrities have that is if they are hosting a show, which is generally the news or something similar to that...or a really bad reality show where the camera follows them around in their lives and even then that doesnt compare to a comedy show. so if your considering a career in acting, try comedy. you get your own show and sometimes comedians even make it big as actors. so pick up a joke book! because humor is powerful. in hollywood and health.

PS: some of my favorite comedians

greg giraldo

dimitri martin

dane cook

george lopez

adventures in love

relationships are complicated.  relationships with titles are even more complicated. why complicate things with words, especially when those words are "boyfriend/girlfriend" or" friends with benefits" or just plain "friend."  titles are the kiss of death to any relationship, especially friendships and even more so to friendships that turn somewhat sexual.  why does everyone see the need to define everything to make everything clear to society as to whats going on because god forbid that someone live their life in ambiguity or keep something personal. and what do those words even mean? are the definitions of the words universal? whos to say that my definition of friendship is the same as the next persons?  or even the same as my friends definition of the word.

according to apple dictionary this is the definition of the word friend:

a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relation 

i guess this definition follows the standards set by todays society as to the boundaries of friendship. 

so by the definition these are the rules of friendship:

1. friends must have a "mutual affection" towards one another. so i must like my friend and they must like me back. thats a given in friendship, sure. ill take that. 

2. friendships exclude anyone with a familial tie. its rare but ive heard of sisters cousins mothers and daughters being friends but apparently according to the dictionary, you are not friends. i guess youll just have to find another word to define yourself. 

3. friends dont kiss or do anything sexual (unless they are friends with benefits, God i hate that term) not so much granted which brings us back to the main point of titles and relationships.  why do we have to base our friendships around this dictionary definition of the word.  why cant friends kiss friends?  i mean arent all good relationships based on friendships? dont people say that you eventually end up marrying your best friend? so if a relationship of a sexual nature has no friendship basis than is it really a good relationship at all? and why cant a friendship turned sexual still be a friendship? why does the title have to change? i guess what im trying to say is why cant friends kiss? and why must everything be defined for everyone to know? if the feelings are there and you know what you feel and your whoever it is knows how they feel too then why find the need to find a label to slap on it just so others can know how you feel too? its just a security for yourself. a security to cover up your insecurity.  because thats what it really is. having to define something to yourself...thats pretty much the most insecure thing you can do. because you dont even trust yourself to know how you feel.  but maybe you just want to show off because you have  a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and you think yourself superior or maybe even happier than the single person. but who are you to judge that, when you dont even know how that single person feels.  who are you to say that you are even better than someone else because of a title, a word. after all, "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me."

a very merry un-birthday

birthdays are a pretty vain celebration. celebrating the day you were born as if it was something important and expecting others to do the same. if anything people should congratulate not the birthday person but the mother who suffered through hours of excruciating pain to push a baby out of their vagina and pay thousands of dollars for a hospital to help. birthdays: the day mothers and wallets suffer. but back to the main point, why should we celebrate peoples birthdays? why are people so sure they are a blessing to this earth? we are suffering from over population so maybe its a curse for babies being born now. maybe we shouldnt celebrate the birth of a new child but the very small decrease in resources and the slow quickening of the effects of global warming (more people eventually driving cars etc...thats how that ties in) what about children who are unwanted? mistake pregnancies, people who dont want children but ended up with them anyways for one reason or another...things like that.  do we celebrate birthdays to celebrate the fact that you have survived earth for however many years? because now a days its not that hard to really survive. with advances in modern medicine, decreased threats of the plague small pox, newer and safer building codes which decrease the threat of collapsing buildings that spontaneously combust, and the decrease of people who live in areas in which a carnivorous or dangerous animal (ex: man eating tiger or wooly mammoth) also inhabit the general threat of people dying off that quickly has severely decreased. for gods sake we have people who live to be over a hundred! so thats not what we are celebrating. and we arent celebrating any major accomplishment on your part, even famous people like composers like Mozart or famous scientists like Einstein dont have their birthdays widely celebrated. so we arent celebrating your accomplishments. but the most interesting part is that its anticipated for other people to want to celebrate your birthday too...every one should be saying happy birthday and presenting you with gifts but whos to say that they should have to? they might not even like you...they might not want to and they honestly dont have to. so even though i still dont really understand why we should celebrate others birthdays i guess its kind of like a support system for them, similar to attending an event like a play or something and clapping, celebrating or remembering somebody's birthday and making them a heartfelt card or buying them a present is just like that, only for support, and only for those who care, or care enough to feign caring.  but next time nobody remembers your birthday or you dont get a present, dont get upset, its a vain celebration anyways and the only person who should have to celebrate your being alive it is you. 

on the radio (whoah oh oh oh)

bumblebee has got the right idea.  you know that giant yellow autobot from transformers. the one who cant talk so he speaks through the radio using song lyrics to express his feelings and emotions or just plain lyrics to say what he wants to say. to me, song lyrics are one of the best ways to express yourself.  think about it.  

people sometimes serenade girls when they like them, putting their emotions into song. or even using somebody else's words to tell your girl how you really feel.  im not going to say this is the best use of song lyrics but its one. its cheesy but hey, if your girls into it, go for it. 

theres also musicals.  for those of you who dont know, first of all go buy a theater ticket, and second its like a play but the  majority of the lines are sung instead of spoken. so in this case, its an entiere dialogue sung. its not necessarily expressing only emotions or something its just putting a pit orchestra, pitch and melody to a normal conversation. although i do have to admit its a little weird if you think about it like if you just broke into random song and or dance in the middle of a day. it would be cool and incredibly weird....but musicals are awesome so its all ok. 

background music in television shows and movies. directors use it to set the mood. just the dialogue isint enough sometimes.  or sometimes dialogue cant convey the mood that the director wants.  that silence where nothing is spoken but a song is played in the background and you know whats going on, you know what you should be feeling.

songs have an incredible power to control your mood. from fast beat to classical happy/hyper to calm or sad.  just the beat can control you. but nobody really realizes it that much.  and it changes the atmosphere too. school dances, concerts, parties anything where theres music. people go from jumping to swaying or running around alone to pairing up and moving with the slow rhythm. it even gets into your heart. the vibrations from the floor travel up into you and meet with the beating of your heart. and it feels incredible. but its not only about the power that the beat or rhythm have over you. its also about the lyrics. and when you listen to a song people tend to think they are listening to the lyrics but in reality its just a trick you play on yourself. how many songs do you really know all the lyrics to or have you really listened to what the artist is really trying to say. some of the fastest upbeat songs can be the saddest ones. just listen to the words. 

I for an eye

Eyes are fascinating.  i think that they are a persons best feature and the most interesting one too.  i mean apart from some other feature i cant remember at this moment they are the only thing on your body that stays the same size from the time you are born. and each person has a unique eye, every single pair is different than the other. (i dont know if these are proven scientific facts but i think they might be) its like a finger print that distinguishes you from every person in the world but its not as conventional as a fingerprint or anything and its not nearly as widely used.  i dont think a criminal could leave like an eye print or something at a crime scene...but i digress

eyes are just so amazingly incredible! just think about it.  theres the color of your eyes, theres so many variations and so many shades! all the pigmentation that goes into making your unique color its unbelievable. and the patterns inside. i know that my eyes personally are pure brown. there almost no lines in them (i dont know what the proper terminology is for the lines that go from the edge of the iris to the pupil) so they simply look like a brown piece of glass, perfectly smooth and almost as dark as my pupil to the point where its hard to distinguish them.  and theres people with two different colored eyes and people with specs of different colors in their eyes there so many different variations....

then theres emotion. its incredible that no matter how big your smile is or how sad you look your eyes are the real give away to how you really are or how you really feel.  everyone has a different type of eye, like dead eyes or hollow eyes.  those are probably the worst. its like someone who seems to have no emotion. then theres angry eyes like people who simply always look angry or maybe they are just angry at that moment.  but its still more hurtful and stinging than the meanest thing you could say to someone.  then theres the judgmental eyes. probably the harshest eyes of them all.  someone who without saying anything can rip you to pieces with one glance. completely tear down your self esteem. its not something you should be proud of nor is it a skill you should aspire to have. just knowing one person can do so much damage with such a small part of their body and such small effort makes me cringe. i hate the judgmental stares because im always on the other side of them.  and trust me it hurts. 

but its not all bad, there are happy eyes, kind eyes, loving eyes. those eyes that you want to look into all night, the person with the golden twinkle in their eye the kind of eye that you want to catch at a party and you want to just stare into them all night. those are the kind of eyes with a captivating power.  

making eye contact.  even more poweful than an entire conversation with someone.  

how can such a small thing carry so much power!  so maybe its true that power doesnt lie in number or in size.  

ps: this post is really disorganized and its not my best so sorry! i will be better tomorrow

spanish

so i kind of got a request for a new post, or rather a comment reminding me that i havent posted in a while.  Im taking it as a request for more posts considering it did not have an exclamation point at the end, which would mean that they were remarking how happy they were i didnt post. but it didnt, so here i am.  anyways...

i have decided to write about spanish television/radio 

in one word, its hilarious

first of all, telenovelas LOVE THEM to death (most of the time) so funny and dramatic, much better than american soap operas (which suck balls) but the best part of them is the commercials.  honestly, they are some of the funniest shit i have ever seen in my entire life.  most notable 2 are as follows:

1) the water bra thing

so basically, there was a commercial where this woman and her husband go to meet their friend at a cafe and they are sitting there waiting for her and then she walks in and the husband is like OMG look at her boobs, they got bigger what happened? did you get implants? and the wife was like they look great! how did you do it? and shes all like no its this new bra! and you had to see it..but it was just hilarious. and then there were pictures of like people throwing their bras out and replacing them with this new one. SO good

2) the ass enhancing underwear?

so this commercial started off like "do you want to make your ass look nicer" and stuff like that.  maybe make it fuller, make your thighs look slimmer? all that jazz, then it goes on to talk about how this works with every jeans, and the boys will love it (flip to a clip of a bunch of girls walking down the street, a guy is staring at them as they walk and he trips over a bush and falls flat on his face) very funny stuff. 

 honestly, americans should make commercials like this.  the latinos know what they are doing when we put these blunt advertisements on TV. its genius.  

however, on the radio, not so much...spanish radio (99.1 FM) although good it is literally like 1 song per 10 commercials. so yeah...between 99.1 and 99.5 its a radio disaster. its even worse when the commercials are matched up though.  thats when you should invest in an ipod jack for your car.  they are lifesavers, unless your ipod gets stolen. then i feel your pain. it really hurts. im slowly dying without mine. (R.I.P aiden (that was his name))

so its 1145 and i need to go to sleep. so that was my fast post for today, more to come soon probably

sorry to my (probably) small fan base (flight of the conchords reference, very obscure) for not posting in so long (even though its probably brennan posting anonymously to make me think i have more fans than i really do, even though the majority of the comments i get are either creepy or just mean...)

but anyways goodnight for today! 

roses are red,

violets are blue, 

and so am i because i miss you.

Driving Ms. Daisy

I have never seen this movie so i highly doubt that the subject of this post has anything to actually do with this movie. so my apologies if you have actually seen this movie.  but the main point is. i am driving. so i got my permit friday (yay) after about 2 hours at the DMV (not so yay)

anyways, today was my first driving lesson with my father. normally he is a kind of abrasive man...but today he was relatively calm while in the car with me. although i did see him grip the door handle many a times.  im not really sure where he thought we were going considering i saw driving around in an empty parking lot. but i guess i can understand his concern.  so all was going well, he wasnt doing too much yelling or anything, giving good direction i was making awesome turns...and then my dad goes, lets park between those 2 yellow lines. so i go in for it.  not straight enough and i realize im not going to make it.  so i flip into reverse and start going back. my dad goes stop! so i start to ease on the break but not before i hear a loud crunch.  uh oh..... my dad looks at me.  get out of the car he says pretty calmly. so i do.  he gets into the drivers seat and pulls up a little bit to 

properly be able to survey the damage...this is what he saw 

he manated to keep his cool about it though which is very surprising. he lets me get back in the car and just says "see this is why you have to be aware

 of where you are and whats around you"

lesson learned.

then we drove around some more, practiced some more turns and we come home. now heres my mom to worry about. having been so proud of not having a single scratch on her car this was a major blower to her. so she wasnt too happy and immediately called our repair guy to come and fix it because she apparently could not drive it to work like that and it had to be fixed NOW. but she didnt want to make me feel too bad about it.  mission not accomplished.  i feel pretty bad to say the least. although it doesnt look tooo bad. im hoping it doesnt cost too much either considering i am supposed to pay for part of it i think...

but oh well, cant really do much about it now. 

to sum it all up:

lamp posts are not my friends, i now have to drive the minivan, and i am going to lose a lot of my birthday money if this thing costs a lot. 

im not really sure how to classify this day...

to: brennan from: nats

even though my blog is getting a lot of negative attention Brennan asked me to write a new post so i am going to write one for his sake. I'm not really sure what to write about though. I mean my blog is essentially just rants (which particularly interesting to people who dont know me or whats going on) but i write it for my own enjoyment and no other purpose so fuck it.  i dont really have much to say except that tomorrow is my birthday.  hopefully by some miracle people will remember because they have a tendency to forget...which is kind of sad.  oh well. whatever. but at least january is over.  that seemed to be a bad month. i have been told it was the cosmos by a reliable source so im going with that.  plus i totally buy into that stuff. i completely think that the planet alignment has something to do with how things play out in our lives, at least in fate.  i dont really believe so much in horoscopes but sometimes they do come true. but if you read them at the beginning of the day you begin to analyze things so that they agree with your horoscope so i like to read mine at the end of the day and compare. its scary though how accurate some of the aquarius generalizations are. however some of them are just dead wrong...but as all things are, nobody can know everything about everything. and if you think you do thats a little strange...  

long overdue

The loss of the best thing to ever happen, was not worth the return of what I thought I wanted.  And now that what i wanted has returned, I realized, it's never what i wanted, but it is what i needed. 

But I no longer need it anymore.  

All I need  and all i want is for the best thing to ever happen to return, and tell me that he misses, us.