according to apple dictionary this is the definition of the word friend:
a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relation
i guess this definition follows the standards set by todays society as to the boundaries of friendship.
so by the definition these are the rules of friendship:
1. friends must have a "mutual affection" towards one another. so i must like my friend and they must like me back. thats a given in friendship, sure. ill take that.
2. friendships exclude anyone with a familial tie. its rare but ive heard of sisters cousins mothers and daughters being friends but apparently according to the dictionary, you are not friends. i guess youll just have to find another word to define yourself.
3. friends dont kiss or do anything sexual (unless they are friends with benefits, God i hate that term) not so much granted which brings us back to the main point of titles and relationships. why do we have to base our friendships around this dictionary definition of the word. why cant friends kiss friends? i mean arent all good relationships based on friendships? dont people say that you eventually end up marrying your best friend? so if a relationship of a sexual nature has no friendship basis than is it really a good relationship at all? and why cant a friendship turned sexual still be a friendship? why does the title have to change? i guess what im trying to say is why cant friends kiss? and why must everything be defined for everyone to know? if the feelings are there and you know what you feel and your whoever it is knows how they feel too then why find the need to find a label to slap on it just so others can know how you feel too? its just a security for yourself. a security to cover up your insecurity. because thats what it really is. having to define something to yourself...thats pretty much the most insecure thing you can do. because you dont even trust yourself to know how you feel. but maybe you just want to show off because you have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and you think yourself superior or maybe even happier than the single person. but who are you to judge that, when you dont even know how that single person feels. who are you to say that you are even better than someone else because of a title, a word. after all, "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me."
7 comments:
what?
more constructive question...
if friends hook up with each other, you cant deny that there is more than "mutual affection" people want the security that something sexual that may have happened (which is lot more rare than just friendship) is not just something that they do with all their friends. something kind of special. you cant deny that you still have a lasting affection with someone who got close to sexually and you want to feel that the other person feels the same way
im not denying any of those things. that hooking up is more than mutual affection, security that hooking up isint just a random occurrence or something commonly done with friends, or that i would want the other person to feel the same way. what im saying is that if you find that friend who you do want more than "mutual affection" with or who you do want to be sexual with and who you do want to feel the same way towards you but as zooey deschanel said in 500 days of summer (which also has some really really good insight on this topic) "[you] dont feel comfortable being anybody's anything" then maybe you dont have to find the words to explain how it is you feel for that person. why cant friend just suffice for now?
I'm still confused as to how you can cover insecurity with security?
because its not really security.
the insecurity is that you are afraid you arent as significant to your "significant other" as they are to you. so, you create a false sense of security by trapping that "significant other" with the title boyfriend/girlfriend or something along the lines of that because you think that with that title comes the guarantee that your "significant other" feels the same way. but why do you think that most relationships end? and why do you think that people say that you marry your best friend? call it what you want, skepticism, fear of commitment...i just call it plain and simple insecurity. although on the contrary, im not saying that there are exceptions!! i dont want to say that there arent some people who actually do use that title to prove their love, there are some people who make it past that insecure stage, and there are people who are happy. as always this is my personal opinion based on very general observations and i will admit, some assumptions, its not meant to offend anyone or call anyones relationship fake or unstable. congratulations for those who have found that one and for those who are happy with them. sometimes love really does conquer all, even insecurity.
Ooohhh. I get it now. Sorry, your wording was just a little confusing. That makes sense. Although it's not really "trapping" if they want to be that way.
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